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The current period marks a full decade since the phrase “disappearing” entered the mainstream. Initially, the idea that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without explanation seemed like the peak of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by social media jargon.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a male identity crisis, and a widespread challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a far messier terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive guide to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is presenting as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people form a link while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie excess, it describes partners who opt out of having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal traits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly benign quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no aspirations of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately extinguish any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd seek out partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {